EMOtion…again!!…d A e isH a double Loser…

Pain In my heart

Here I am alone in this empty room,
And let my mind just fly you to the end.
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair.

I could still recall, those memories of you,
The joy and all your laughter,
The love that we’ve been through.
Oh I can’t believe, you’re gone…

I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

Talkin’ to my self, for reasons I can’t find.
Findin’ out why everything went wrong.
Tears fallin’ down on my cheeks,
That I’ve been tryin’ to hold.
I just dunno if I could still go on.

I wanted you to stay,
The tears began to show,
You said you care for me,
But then you have to go
And now I know, you’re gone.

I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

(Instrumental)

I just can’t believe, you’re gone…

I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart,

And I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

**REFLECTION:

and there you go again dae...what a stupid post!..hahaha

and yes!..The end point is that I just got hurt again by the same person over and over again…and yeah without him knowing that he did hurt me…aww..well I guess that I should really stop this nonsense..but how??can anybody out there Please tell me…

nah… I already knew that long before..that I don’t have a single chance in this game called- LOVE..I just don’t know how to accept defeat..I’ve been a loser in a loser's game before so what do you call me then??

…a double loser that is..

connection to the song?? I dunno…I just turned very emotional when I heard that song on my way home…well I guess some people would understand why I’d pick that song…It somewhat..relates to what and how I feel right about NAO!..

“THANK’S!…though I’ve been hurt again..thank’s for remindin’ me that LOVE isH real and that I have felt how it was..again..i’m sorry for causing you trouble if any..I just don’t know how to react to things..”

stay happy..cause that’s what I want you to be..

..and yeah It did hurt me..

pixies mode...kinda bit lazy at the moment...

and that was reality…viewed in a positive light…

though I really guess that…

and that…

I guess it sucks that the reality is that im just a girl…

…and that I can’t do anything about that….

hahaha…though I believe that…

**bittersweet me…haha c”,)

Im inlove..yes!!..im definitely inlove..NOT!

"Bitterness won’t take you anywhere.."

Haha..yeah right..and so what? Im not being bitter..im just being mah ownself..(defensive much!!) In succession of my previous blog ..This goes to show how much I feel (Drama much!)..Its just that sometimes I want to get even..(scary!)..

Its not that im turning bitter now..In reality, Im normally a nice and sweet person(self praise much!)..but what Im pointing out now is that Im quite lost with myself..I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP..Im still hoping for the day my prince would finally realize my worth..’coz the feeling I have for him(?!)is real..It made me feel so content and happy with life..and at some point It made me feel that I could never live my life without him(?!)that he’s all I’ve ever wanted..and that he made me feel complete for once..and I so hate it..haha..but now..I guess the magic is gone..and I think its quite a good thing..I’ll just look at it in a positive light..that It’ll serve as a good memory and a great lesson for me..a big piece of my puzzle that made me stronger..I think all the hurt has paid out now..and I mean all of it..It made me realize that some good things never really seem to last..even in love..there’s no exemptions..

Yeah..that once in my life..I’ve felt what its like to be inlove..Thanks!and I mean Thanks to you!!really..

To my prince..mr.Reidell Christian Bagtasos Roasa..thank you!for being a great inspiration in my life..

yeah that’s right!..Im inlove with my bestfriend..and so?

OKAY..That’s it!!..Im tired

"..I’ll just continue Loving, up until I get tired hurting.."

Super sweet words to live by..but I guess my heart does get tired sometimes..(reality much!)
HURT? not exactly, I’ll just give it a 50% share of the story..

TIRED? Maybe, Im kinda sick of hoping and longing for that person to love me back and of somehow appreciate the love im giving..

LOVE IM GIVING??!! How could that person even know that I love him(?!)

CONFESSION?? How would I do that? and how could I?

INLOVE? im not so sure about that either..after all these years that I believed in that so-called "love"..How could it possibly fade this time?

What the heck am I talkin’ about? Isn’t it that this is what I wanted? to finally lose everything I have for him(?!)?..maybe it was what I actually wanted before..but why am I like this? I don’t feel any better..I feel lost..but I guess It’s gonna be cooler this way..I sure do hope that I’ll be better..

GANBATTE KUDASAI DAE-CHAN!!NANKURUNAISA!!!

CONGRATS!!

-dA3

Sentiments of a true blue st.simon..

Inspired from OLAC’s graduation ceremony last March 31, 2008 @ the Mamatid covered court..(complete accessories..haha..)

Steph, JAy and I, attended the graduation ceremony of our former school yesterday, and eventhough I asked stephie to spread the word to all of you (which she willingly did right after I told her to..(by texting each one of you)..)nobody responded..(as expected..)..so in the end, the three of us met up at the court and watched the ceremony. so as to talk about life’s "what’s goin’ on"..on the other hand, KOki showed up (which surprised me and made me so happy..) but in such a short while.unknowing if he recieved the text msg or what..(but i’m still happy that he showed up..) havin’ fun at the ceremony and reminicin’ the past, foolin’ around and tellin’ stories and updates of most of the people we know was the only thing we did the whole time..and after the ceremony, we went to Joey’s parents to congratulate them (Denise was a gr.6 graduate.(Joey’s sister)).and we also went in front to say hi to mommy Julie..
Mommy Julie was so happy to see us there and told us that she is so grateful that some of her former students still remembers to look back on where we came from..which is quite touchy from an educators perspective..(exchanging stories..quite long conversation..)..when I come to think about US..the relationship of our so-called "barkadahan"..is it really this tough??are we really bonded this much?? If your answer is yes..come to think about it..that whenever we call out for reunions or other special gatherings..do we come to a count of 36??(which is our exact count..), or even 20??…I understand that we all have different schedules and appointments..(we are such busy persons all the time!!!), but do we really..and still have what it takes to be called a certified "barkada"??

..I used to comment on that batch (07′-08′)..coz they showed us their nature of being bonded together..wondering If they could beat our bond..and that made me remember our own graduation night..at exactly way back three years ago..It felt a bit sad though..that just Step, Jay and "d A e"..wuz there…

::Cute Facts On Yunho::

1. Don't tell him to lose weight! He said that his Winnie the Pooh's tummy is fill with fan's love.
2. He is serious when working so Don't talk to him at that time!
3. When fans are pulling his hair and cloths he will smile to them but actually he doesn't like it!
4. Do not compete with or challenge him. He won't let himself lose to you!
5. Do not stand close to him when he is dancing. His powerful hand move may injure you!
6. He likes unique fan's letter. So decorated your letter with beautiful pattern!
7. When raining, he likes to write novel so he won't go out during raining!
8. He don't like to get too intimate (hugging and touching) with people he is not close to, so don't hug him.
9. He cares about his fans very much so he don't like fans to force themselves to get very near them 'cos it is dangerous. He likes fans to stand and watch them from a bit distance for their safety.
10. People said that he is a very polite and knowledgeable leader.
11. Yunho is a very bad boy to girls. He would tease them until they cry.
12. Yunho's mom and dad are student leaders in school. They would always run for student election until they realize that they suited one another.
13. Yunho once caught watching porn and he told them that it's an assignment.
14. Yunho once fell in love with a girl that never really love him. She became his girlfriend but later on she broke up with him. Yunho convinced his friends to give her a surprise. She was touched and get back at him but yunho later realize that she could never learn to love him. Thus, he set her free.
15. Yunho is a great fan of the girl in Sassy Girl.
16. Yunho sleeps diagonally

Credits: StellaSue @ AF + Alek of soompi + AndreidAe@LJ..^^,

UNBELIEVABLE!!!The top 10 Yunho moments...^^,

1. 2004 DBSK got into a car accident. A sedan hit DBSK’s van, the driver was pronounced dead on the spot, the van was completely crushed, each member was hurt in different ways. Yunho’s neck was very injured.

2. 2005, Nov 18 to 19th, he was running schedules non stop. The minute the camera shuts down, he fainted.

3. 2006, before his concert, his wrist was injured, but he removed the cast for the sake of the performance, during the performance he was bleeding, but he kept on singing. After the performance his hand was completely swollen.

4. 2006, march, barely 20 years old, fainted due to dehydration. His stomach isn’t strong, members always stick little reminder notes in his pocket reminding him to eat. Whenever he was trying to care for other members, they would say “ you should be the one resting right now”.. they flew between Korea and Japan every week.

5. For the sake of having a better pitch when he sings and a better, more mature image, he got procelin veneers on his teeth, PV needs to be changed every 10 years, he has gone through numerous discomfort and pain after his procedure. May of 2006, because he was in such pain (his teeth), he was rushed to the hospital right after his performance one night. June, he experienced eve more pain because of it, he could barely eat, his face was so swollen he had to start wearing a mask

6. 2006, July. Concert in Malaysia, knowning his fans have waited forever for him, he gave a perfect performance that fooled everyone, no one could tell that he was trying all his might to hold the pain that was caused by dislocation of his ankles. He insisted on performing for his fans, he had to be carried out after the performance. That performance caused him to be away for one month so he can rest.

7. 2006, October, around 10pm. Something horrible happened (superglue poisoning incident), emergency room, different hospitals, cleaning and pumping out his stomach. The suspect has turned herself in. Yunho said “ she’s about my age, I have a sister, so I hope she will receive forgiveness. As for me. No worries. I’m fine. I’m sorry I’ve made you guys worry”

8. At an award ceremony, all the members were crying their eyes out, Yunho stayed strong, he held his tear in, he smiled, he kept thanking everyone, but backstage, he shed more tears than the rest of the members combined.

9. At another award ceremony, everyone could tell his eyes were watery and red, but once again, held in it. He bit his fingers.

10. The famous 18 continuous bow. After the MBC dance battle special, he was sick, but he held himself together for the show, backstage, he bowed to every single performer and crew members, the fans captured the total number of times he bowed. 18 times.

Credit: i like jelly@soompi + baBYunHo@CSSPF + zehl @ cassphCR + andreidae@LJ

creations...

well…here are some of my hidden creations …and considered as my life’s treasures as well…just want to share it with you guys…hope you’ll like it…

16:5

The days are changing
Everyday,
My time gets wasted in
every way.

Most of the time,
I think of nothing but you.
Why is it always like this?
Am I the only one not meant for you?

I tried to walk away,
Leaving the past and start living a new.
But a life without you
Is always in blue.

Why is it always like this?
Whenever i turn away
You tend to stay,
And when you go away, I stay.

Life’s ironic in a way,
Maybe that’s why
We should learn how to sway….

-dA3",

Why does it always rain on me?

Some days I feel
Unaccepted,
Some asks why i’m always
Neglected…

At times like these
I tried to be ‘Unaffected’.
But why is it always like this?
I’m always unappreciated…

No one even knows..
How hard it goes..
To let everyone know..
..That I existed!..

-dAe",

well…those are some of my creations…
hope you liked it……