N o such thing...

It’s a lie to say you’ve let go of the past….

….NOBODY, let’s go of memories…

each tear is unforgettable memory…

each smile is an undeniable mark..

each heartbreak is an unerasable scar.

cause really..

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS FORGETTING…

…ONLY ACCEPTANCE.

:’c

awts! adopted from my wordpress blog.

at gaano ba tlga kabigat na kasalanan ang mahalin ka??
nkkasar din minsan kung iisipin ko na mas okay akong magbigay ng advice sa mga kaibigan ko tungkol sa mga ganitong usapang puso..pero bakit nman pagdating sa akin..wala..talo na nman..

kailan ko ba kasi matututunang tanggapin sa sarili ko na kahit kailan ay hindi na ako pwedeng maging masaya na ikaw ang kasama..hindi ko parin maintindihan kung bakit hanggang ngayon apektado parin ako pagdating sayo??tao ka ba talaga?hanggang kailan mo pa ba ako balak saktan??

oo, alam ko..hindi mo nman sinasadya diba??malay mo ba??pero..**tinginingining** na yan..gaano ba ka kapal ang balat mo at hindi mo maramdaman??
ano na ba talaga ako para sa’yo??pinipilit kong maging okay pero hindi pa pala tapos ang kalbaryo ko..walanjo naman talaga oo..

kani-kanina lang nag-iisip ako..kung gaano kasaya ang walang iniisip na problema sa puso..sabi ko..mas okay na siguro yung ganito..yung walang laman yung puso ko..yung tipong pagtinanong ako sino mahal ko..petix akong sasagot nang “wala eh..si God ang nasa sentro ng puso ko..” which is actually a fact at given na yun..na parang tatanungin kung inlove ako at the moment..kampante akong sasagot nang..”wala talaga eh..”..

hahaix..kelan ko ba makakamit ang kalayaang magmahal ulit nang hindi ka na papasok sa isip ko??hanggang kailan ako magkakaganito??at hanggang kailan ko pa kaya paparusahan ang sarili ko sa mga pinag gagawa ko ngayon??puteek naman talaga oo..walanjo..kung pwede lang sabihin talaga na ayoko na at totohanin yun..eh matagal ko na sanang ginawa..nakakaloka nadin naman kasi..na yung mga bagay na sinasabi ko mismo sa ibang tao eh hindi ko mai-apply sa sarili kong sitwasyon..ayos din eh noh??adik nga talaga ako..ADIK!

masamang i-compare yung sarili sa iba..oo, alam na alam ko yan..at sobrang ayoko nyan eh..pero kanina lang..napag isip talaga ako ng matindi at naluha pa nung ma-realize ko na unti-unti ko na palang ikinukumpara ang sarili ko sa taong dati mong mahal..na bakit at paano mo sya nagustuhan??na kung ano ba ang meron sya na wla ako at hindi mo makita sa akin..wala na..adik talaga ako..na kung tutuusin eh kaibigan ko din yung taong un..haix..bakit ba kasi hindi mo ako magawang magustuhan manlang??nalilito na naman ako??bata ka pa lang ba talaga masyado para mag -isip na hindi pa tamang panahon para magmahal ka??o bading ka ba talaga katulad ng nararamdaman naming lahat??handa akong maghintay kung yun lang ang idadahilan mo sa akin..pero sana..wag mo naman akong gawing tanga..nasasaktan din ako..at kung sakaling alam mo na kung ano talaga nararamdaman ko para sa'yo..sabihin mo nalang side mo..wag yung ganito tayo..ayos??walanjo ka talaga oo..anu ba itong nangyayri sa akin ngayon at natuto akong mag blog ng tagalog..ang saya pala nito...

basta hindi ko na talaga alam pa..kakalimutan nalang kita para mas masaya di ba??ang tapang ko talaga kung iisipin na ang lakas ng loob kong maglagay ng picture at i-publish sa halos lahat ng blog ko itong entry na itoh..ano??proud??pero hindi ko na babanggitin name muh..dahil sobrang given na yun.. ayos diba??may isang adik na magmamahal sayo ng buong ka-adikan..nice talaga!!

tagay na!!

EMOtion…again!!…d A e isH a double Loser…

Pain In my heart

Here I am alone in this empty room,
And let my mind just fly you to the end.
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair.

I could still recall, those memories of you,
The joy and all your laughter,
The love that we’ve been through.
Oh I can’t believe, you’re gone…

I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

Talkin’ to my self, for reasons I can’t find.
Findin’ out why everything went wrong.
Tears fallin’ down on my cheeks,
That I’ve been tryin’ to hold.
I just dunno if I could still go on.

I wanted you to stay,
The tears began to show,
You said you care for me,
But then you have to go
And now I know, you’re gone.

I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

(Instrumental)

I just can’t believe, you’re gone…

I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart,

And I don’t want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don’t want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
‘Cause I don’t wanna feel the pain in my heart

**REFLECTION:

and there you go again dae...what a stupid post!..hahaha

and yes!..The end point is that I just got hurt again by the same person over and over again…and yeah without him knowing that he did hurt me…aww..well I guess that I should really stop this nonsense..but how??can anybody out there Please tell me…

nah… I already knew that long before..that I don’t have a single chance in this game called- LOVE..I just don’t know how to accept defeat..I’ve been a loser in a loser's game before so what do you call me then??

…a double loser that is..

connection to the song?? I dunno…I just turned very emotional when I heard that song on my way home…well I guess some people would understand why I’d pick that song…It somewhat..relates to what and how I feel right about NAO!..

“THANK’S!…though I’ve been hurt again..thank’s for remindin’ me that LOVE isH real and that I have felt how it was..again..i’m sorry for causing you trouble if any..I just don’t know how to react to things..”

stay happy..cause that’s what I want you to be..

..and yeah It did hurt me..

pixies mode...kinda bit lazy at the moment...

and that was reality…viewed in a positive light…

though I really guess that…

and that…

I guess it sucks that the reality is that im just a girl…

…and that I can’t do anything about that….

hahaha…though I believe that…

**bittersweet me…haha c”,)

Im inlove..yes!!..im definitely inlove..NOT!

"Bitterness won’t take you anywhere.."

Haha..yeah right..and so what? Im not being bitter..im just being mah ownself..(defensive much!!) In succession of my previous blog ..This goes to show how much I feel (Drama much!)..Its just that sometimes I want to get even..(scary!)..

Its not that im turning bitter now..In reality, Im normally a nice and sweet person(self praise much!)..but what Im pointing out now is that Im quite lost with myself..I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP..Im still hoping for the day my prince would finally realize my worth..’coz the feeling I have for him(?!)is real..It made me feel so content and happy with life..and at some point It made me feel that I could never live my life without him(?!)that he’s all I’ve ever wanted..and that he made me feel complete for once..and I so hate it..haha..but now..I guess the magic is gone..and I think its quite a good thing..I’ll just look at it in a positive light..that It’ll serve as a good memory and a great lesson for me..a big piece of my puzzle that made me stronger..I think all the hurt has paid out now..and I mean all of it..It made me realize that some good things never really seem to last..even in love..there’s no exemptions..

Yeah..that once in my life..I’ve felt what its like to be inlove..Thanks!and I mean Thanks to you!!really..

To my prince..mr.Reidell Christian Bagtasos Roasa..thank you!for being a great inspiration in my life..

yeah that’s right!..Im inlove with my bestfriend..and so?

OKAY..That’s it!!..Im tired

"..I’ll just continue Loving, up until I get tired hurting.."

Super sweet words to live by..but I guess my heart does get tired sometimes..(reality much!)
HURT? not exactly, I’ll just give it a 50% share of the story..

TIRED? Maybe, Im kinda sick of hoping and longing for that person to love me back and of somehow appreciate the love im giving..

LOVE IM GIVING??!! How could that person even know that I love him(?!)

CONFESSION?? How would I do that? and how could I?

INLOVE? im not so sure about that either..after all these years that I believed in that so-called "love"..How could it possibly fade this time?

What the heck am I talkin’ about? Isn’t it that this is what I wanted? to finally lose everything I have for him(?!)?..maybe it was what I actually wanted before..but why am I like this? I don’t feel any better..I feel lost..but I guess It’s gonna be cooler this way..I sure do hope that I’ll be better..

GANBATTE KUDASAI DAE-CHAN!!NANKURUNAISA!!!

CONGRATS!!

-dA3

Sentiments of a true blue st.simon..

Inspired from OLAC’s graduation ceremony last March 31, 2008 @ the Mamatid covered court..(complete accessories..haha..)

Steph, JAy and I, attended the graduation ceremony of our former school yesterday, and eventhough I asked stephie to spread the word to all of you (which she willingly did right after I told her to..(by texting each one of you)..)nobody responded..(as expected..)..so in the end, the three of us met up at the court and watched the ceremony. so as to talk about life’s "what’s goin’ on"..on the other hand, KOki showed up (which surprised me and made me so happy..) but in such a short while.unknowing if he recieved the text msg or what..(but i’m still happy that he showed up..) havin’ fun at the ceremony and reminicin’ the past, foolin’ around and tellin’ stories and updates of most of the people we know was the only thing we did the whole time..and after the ceremony, we went to Joey’s parents to congratulate them (Denise was a gr.6 graduate.(Joey’s sister)).and we also went in front to say hi to mommy Julie..
Mommy Julie was so happy to see us there and told us that she is so grateful that some of her former students still remembers to look back on where we came from..which is quite touchy from an educators perspective..(exchanging stories..quite long conversation..)..when I come to think about US..the relationship of our so-called "barkadahan"..is it really this tough??are we really bonded this much?? If your answer is yes..come to think about it..that whenever we call out for reunions or other special gatherings..do we come to a count of 36??(which is our exact count..), or even 20??…I understand that we all have different schedules and appointments..(we are such busy persons all the time!!!), but do we really..and still have what it takes to be called a certified "barkada"??

..I used to comment on that batch (07′-08′)..coz they showed us their nature of being bonded together..wondering If they could beat our bond..and that made me remember our own graduation night..at exactly way back three years ago..It felt a bit sad though..that just Step, Jay and "d A e"..wuz there…